Hindi movies have been constructing the ‘desi’ equivalents of the Bond-Bourne franchise for a while now. Tiger has been ‘zinda’ in two straight adventures, Agent Vinod has done his bit, BellBottom has flexed and flared, but it is ‘Pathaan’ which has got the spy movie-laced-with-heavy-doses-of-patriotism bouncing off the screen, with Shah Rukh Khan acing the action avatar, flaunting the floppy-hair-glinting-aviators-eight packs (or is it twelve?) look.
That’s because it has finally got what’s needed in an action movie — non-stop action, leavened by glamorous leads, topped by the guy who can save the world, a high-octane set piece, and an emo line at a time.
Bonus: the very svelte Deepika Padukone, matching SRK stride for stride, giving stiff competition to Katrina Kaif, who kicked serious ass in Tiger 2. There’s also Dimple Kapadia, building on her blink-and-miss-role in Christopher Nolan’s ‘Tenet’, as the foxy Moneypenny equivalent. And the chief antagonist, played by John Abraham, who manages to make the most of his lines.
The plot involves a slew of spies, sardonic RAW chiefs, evil ISI generals and gun-toting terrorists inhabiting global hotspots. Pakistan is back eyeing Kashmir (it will never learn, will it). One of India’s own, Jim (John Abraham) has gone rogue. Gorgeous ISI agent Rubina (Deepika Padukone) is as at home in a bikini as she is in skin-tight spandex. A deadly virus, much more dangerous than Covid 19, is being cooked up in top-secret labs. There’s clear and present danger, and desh-ke-dushman crawling all over the landscape. But breathe easy, because India’s best and bravest, Pathaan (Shah Rukh Khan) is at hand.
The problem of carrying off a two-and-half hour film is evident in the places where you stifle a yawn (yes, it can happen even when everything is galloping along at break-neck speed). Just so there’s nothing missed out, we have Pathaan and Jim facing off in the air (many helicopters were hurt in the making of this film), skimming over ice-floes and under icy water, chasing each other down twisty roads. Plus, the third person mention of ‘Pathaan’ starts getting tiresome (kitni baar bologe, yaar). Trust us, we got it the first time.
But the slack is tightened quickly enough: an entire train is commandeered in the service of a special featuring Pathaan and a keffiyeh-sporting spy whose trademark moves had the audience roaring. And then there is that song which created such a controversy weeks before it hit the theatres. There really is nothing in it that we haven’t seen before (YRF songs-on-beaches should rightfully be a separate Bollywood sub-genre) but there’s no denying that Pathaan and Rubina swaying and narrowing their eyes at each other on a Spanish beach, is more a hot proposition than a potato. But let me reassure those worried: nothing besharam happens, sadly, even with nothing between them but a gun.
The film comes at a time when Bollywood, and SRK have been under siege. ‘Pathaan’ is that jawaab of this beleaguered pathaan, who manages multiple feats in his comeback after a clutch of medium-bad to terrible films: gives it those ones to the #BoycottBollywood brigade, pulls off the dishy-and-dishevelled look rippling those abs, give us a laugh-out-loud moment (I won’t ruin it for you, but it involves a line from an early SRK character, also in a YRF film, which would have become eminently meme-worthy if memes were a thing those days) and saves Bharat Mata.
Pathaan movie cast: Shah Rukh Khan, Deepika Padukone, John Abraham, Dimple Kapadia, Ashutosh Rana
Pathaan movie director: Siddharth Anand
Pathaan movie review: 3 stars